Bigger Than Cheeses
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Cast, and what they think of each other
Thanatos
His first appearance: This'll probably get me in trouble

Thanatos, born in a barn, and raised by bears, learned to speak and interact with society by watching an old tape of The Shining
Duke says   "Yeah, he's alright I guess. He owes me money, though. A lot of money"
Sancho says   "I try to kick him in the sweetbreads four, maybe five times a day. Minimum"
Natalie says   "Sometimes I kick him too and blame Sancho"

Duke
His first appearance: This'll probably get me in trouble

Duke lost his mouth in a tragic milkshake related accident shortly after his marriage to Natalie

Duke says   "It made the honeymoon a little akward"
Thanatos says   "Don't blame the milkshake. A REAL man would be able to please his wife"
Thanatos says   "Real mature, man"

Natalie
Her first appearance: What the...?

Natalie, ex-animal wrangler, uses her wrangling to keep everyone in line and also taught Thanatos how to balance on a ball with a biscuit on his nose. She is married to Duke and likes to watch shows such as Buffy, Xena: Warrior Princess, Dark Angel, Alias and anything else with as ass-kicking female lead.

Thanatos says   "Nobody knows this, but she likes to walk around the house naked. I've got pictures!"
Natalie says   "They know NOW you idiot!"
Unit Lei says   "Unit Lei likes pictures!"
Duke says   "Unit Lei also likes watching grass grow"
Unit Lei says   "Unit Lei LIKES watching grass grow!"
Wang

His first appearance: Own a pet rock today!

Wang is a 4 foot high, roughly kidney shaped recovering alcoholic rock. Actually he just drinks whenever he wants to, but tells people he's a recovering alcoholic to get them to give him free drinks

Wang says   "WHO'RE YOU CALLIN A ROCK YOU GUTTER WHORE!"
Katrina says   "Wang, did you drink all my turpentine? I was using that"
Wang says   "Yeah! Like I turpentined your MOTHER! AHAHA AMIRIGHT"
Thanatos says   "For someone with no intestines, you sure can vomit a lot."
Sancho

His first appearance: Right in the bojangles!

Although he has two robot wives, Lei and Cleo, Sancho really only has eyes for Cleo. More accurately, he used parts of himself to build Cleo, including one of his eyes. He's madly in lust with her, and she feels the same way...about Thanatos. Luckily for him (and Thanatos), he doesn't appear to know it

Sancho says   "Know what? What don't I know?"
Thanatos says   "NOTHING! Nothing at all!
Wang says   "Her MOTHER! Geddit! Oh man that's priceless. Take a picture"
Sancho says   "Your bit's over! It's me time now! ME!"
Wang says   "I CAN TAKE YOU"
Lei says   "Unit Lei and Sancho are made for each other!"
Wang says   "YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME TINKERBELL!?"
Lei says   "Yes please!"
Jesusman
His first appearance: Jesusmaaaaaan, Jesusmaaaaaaaan

Jesusman is the Son of God(tm), and the patron saint of kicking evil's ass. Working out of the Jesuscave, Jesusman is far too busy kicking ass, whoopin' ass, and doing various other ass related activites to appear with the rest of the gang too often.

Katrina says   "Once I scraped my knee and Jesus blew on it and made it better. And he gave me a lollipop"
Thanatos says   "He didn't give ME a lollipop! He gave me a punch in the face!"
Katrina says   "You pushed me!"
Thanatos says   "Haha yeah"
Violent Bob

His first appearance: Jesusmaaaaaan, Jesusmaaaaaaaan

Violent Bob is a compatriot of Thanatos. As his name suggests, he is rather violent. He is fiercely competitive and once headbutted a car to death.

Duke says   "That car thing's a lie. It was more like a motorcycle. Or a moped, really"
Thanatos says   "I was there, man. It was a car. A HUMMER! That's like the Superman of cars."
Duke says   "You were drunk! And headbutting the moped too!"
Thanatos says   "I was legally dead for three minutes!"
Woodrow

His first appearance: For the ladies

Woodrow, alpha male, is Thanatos' lawyer and also filthy stinking rich. The two may possibly be connected. He's also skilled at Engineering, Quantum Physics and Rugby, because American Rules Football is for wimps. He also walks around in a thong and red bow tie. Only.

Natalie says   "He's ripped, and a total he-babe. I'd do him in a second"
Duke says   "I'm RIGHT. HERE."
Natalie says   "Well pay attention then. You might learn something"
Duke says   "Damn Woodrow."

Katrina

Her first appearance: Gratuitous!

Due to her rather bumbling parents, Katrina's legal name is actually Gregory Peck, even though it is pronounced Katrina Mikalia. She likes to spend her days hiding under her bed.
Katrina says   "I don't LIKE it! It's that crazy robot! She's trying to kill me!"
Sancho says   "My Cleo would never do that. She's pure as a snowflake"
Thanatos says   "A sex snowflake!"
Katrina says   "Not Cleo! LEI! She strangles me!"
Thanatos says   "What? LEI? She's harmless. Aren't you, Lei?"
Lei says   "Unit Lei hates Katrina but likes kittens!"
Thanatos says   "See Kat? Kat?"
Katrina says   *GLK*

Lei Mi

Her first appearance: She's so cute

A Made in China knock-off from the popular Japanese anime 'Metal Whip Queen Animal', Lei is as cute as a button and as durable as a paper towel. She is madly in love with Sancho, after being told that she should be, but Sancho is completely oblivious to her.

Unit Lei says   "Unit Lei likes paper tow--"
Duke says   "WE GET IT. You like things! Gimme that damn booze, Wang"
Wang says   "FUGOFF! Get yer own!"
Duke says   "That IS my own! You stole it!"
Katrina says   "Why isn't anyone helping me!?"
Cleo

Her first appearance: Please don't sue me, Fox

Built by Sancho out of his own parts, Cleo is Sancho's favourite out of the two robo-brides, but due to his errors while constructing her, she would rather "be friends". Sancho programmed her using Weird Science as a guide, as he was unable to find any other handy guides on building 'the perfect woman'. This unfortunately led to Cleo's psyche being firmly rooted in the mid-eighties. She is love-imprinted on Thanatos like that kid from A.I., only with sex.

Thanatos says   "Cleo weighs a tonne. I'm not kidding. We took her to one of those truck weigh-in stations and she weighs a tonne. So it's not too much fun when she gets in one of her "moods". Which is ALL THE TIME! Oh JESUS! Here she comes!"
Cleo says   "Come here, love designate Thanatos"
Thanatos says   "Oh god! My balls!"
Cleo says   "Mmm"
Sancho says   "HEY! She's MINE! I own her!"
Thanatos says   "Oh GOD!! MY BALLS!!"


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