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19: Sweet, sweet justice.
Sweet, sweet justice.

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So long, and thanks for all the fish
A look back
When I first heard about the Tomb Raider movie it was a mix of both excitement and apprehension. I would've loved to see a good movie with characters you cared about, and an enthralling plot. Instead we got the crapfest known as Tomb Raider. I could see how they could screw up movies like Mortal Kombat (Especially the sequel....man that was bad), Mario Brothers, and Street Fighter. Those games didn't have all too much in terms of plot, but Tomb Raider had a lot of things going for it. Firstly, the people at Eidos gave Lara a full biography. She was born on a specific date, went to a specific school. Hell, they even gave her a blood type. Her full family history was mapped out before the first game had even been released, but instead Simon West decided to scrap it all and do it himself (a true sign of idiocy). Her father didn't DIE, he DISOWNED her. Her mother didn't die when she was a child either. She's still alive, and sipping martinis for all we know. And what the hell was with the 'Illuminati'? Does he think he's special because he can use some scary underground word? Ooh! Mafia! CIA! Secret Service!! CONSPIRACY!! PLANETARY GODDAMNED ALIGNMENT!!! Not to mention the turd filled plot holes rampant throughout the story. Okay, I'll overlook the robot first of all, because all movies do that, but Lara didn't have a nerdy British comedy relief living with her, nor was her Butler freaking Rimmer from Red Dwarf. And how on earth did she hear a clock that was packed in a box filled with straw underneath a staircase during a thunderstorm while she was fast asleep? Tell me that, Simon!! Okay, I'd better stop now. Talking about bad movies gets my blood boiling.
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