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231: Goddamn stupid wisdom teeth
Goddamn stupid wisdom teeth

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So long, and thanks for all the fish
Fucking hell I hate you. Stupid wisdom teeth. Evolution can kiss my ass. Or if you're a fundamentalist, God can kiss my ass. Explain wisdom teeth you bible loving hippies. What useful fucking purpose do they serve? They punch through your gums and then they get pulled out of your jaw. FUN! And I get to pay for it too!!!!! WHOOPEDY DOO. Maybe I'll start a fucking WISDOM TEETH THEME PARK. With TOOTH FAIRIES an a MAGICAL KINGDOM OF DENTAL WONDERS. See, on the wisdom teeth ride, you'd sit in the chairs and get rammed through the ceiling, then they'd shove a giant needle through the walls and tear you out of your seat with pliers. Then they would burn the building to the ground. And speaking of needles, I went for the local anaesthetic instead of the general. Or as most people call it, the "sucker" anaesthetic. Because it sucks. I'm in the chair with the dentist shoving the needle through my gums and at that PRECISE MOMENT my mother decides to start a conversation with the dentist. THAT EXACT GODDAMN MOMENT. Before he's started injecting anaesthetic. So I'm lying there with a mouth full of NEEDLE and she's yammering on about god knows what. After an allowed excruciating amount of time, she stops talking, and the dentist injects the anaesthetic. This takes a good few minutes to set in. He does a series of about 3 or 4 other shots into my gums, and she REPEATEDLY CHOOSES TO START CONVERSATIONS AT THOSE. PRECISE. INTERVALS. Good god! this is moral support?! And apparently I was cheated out of some quality drugs too because everyone else I talked to either got general anaesthetic, prescription painkillers or both. I mean, jesus, he only sliced my gum open and wrenched the teeth from the bone. I'm no expert but I'm guessing that would cause some sort of PAIN after the anaesthetic wears off. I want some fucking drugs and I want them NOW. You know what I got? GAUZE. Yeah that's right you pankiller receiving bastards. Gauze. Who needs morphine and vicadin when you have ABSORBANT COTTON! WOOWHOOOWOOO!!! So the rest of that night was a fun experience of swallowing my own blood for six hours, which wasn't too bad if it weren't for the constant taste of that stupid flouride. I mean, I don't remember backing a cement mixer full of dentist grade flouride into my mouth as part of the procedure, but THAT'S WHAT IT FUCKING TASTED LIKE. And while I was talking about getting local, not general, I was told to get local by my mother (a nurse) because apparently it's the best way to go. So, being a sucker. I follow her directions. So only AFTER the teeth are out, and AFTER I've washed my mouth to get rid of the blood for the four jillionth time, I ask her if she bled this much when she had her teeth out, and she replied "Oh no, I had general and by the time I woke up my gums were clotted". Well thank YOU! Not only did you go out of your way to make sure I enjoyed every excruciating second of those stupid needles, you tell me that it's the BEST thing to do to get local when you didn't even get it yourself?! My brother and father also had general, and so far from my research, so has everyone else IN THE ENTIRE FREAKING WORLD. I'm pretty sure there's blind limbless hobos who've had general anaesthetic while they were getting their wisdoms out, AND they got painkillers for afterwards. And for those two or three who had local, they apparently got "memory inhibitors" so they wouldn't remember every fucking slice of that scalpel. Apparently under medical cover, I must have the "give the shittiest treatment possible" box checked. Maybe you could have KICKED ME IN THE BALLS while you were fucking around in my mouth with pliers. But anyway, I'll rant a lot more on irc if you catch me. I was in far too much pain to do a proper update, and this cheap-ass anaesthetic probably still dissolving in my bloodstream has left me a little weaker (tireder. I don't think that's a word, but that's how I feel) than usual, so I managed to scrape together anger and do this. I know it doesn't make sense, but I was too busy being angry about my wisdom teeth to think properly. And I don't think I could have fit that rant into four panels. How about you give ol' goon a big online hug in the form of voting on the now working twc? I was going to leave you all in the lurch with a placeholder comic while I coughed up blood and flouride, but I decided to forge ahead and give you SOMETHING. I also gave notice to the lateness, and probable not showing upness of this comic in both forums, but I have no idea how many people actually read them. I couldn't get into shtank for the past few days to post a placeholder image, so that's again a good reason to visit the forums regularly to see any announcements I make. I'd normally have avoided that ezboard one, but my twc account wasn't working on friday, and that was all I could do. Okay, sleep for me, and hoping that I don't choke on my own blood. Bizarre Linkage.

Edit. For some reason, shtank's php support crapped out a few days ago, and tate had to knock up a quick holder file so people could see the current comic without being greeted by the opportunity to download my script. Well whatever happened, it's fixed, but if anyone else is willing to offer me unlimited free hosting with no ads, script (php) support and a generous bandwidth limit, I'd like to hear from you. When I say unlimited, I mean indefinite. Space-wise I think 50mb would have to be the minimum. 100 would be best, and would take a good 4 years to fill up at my current rate. Stability is always good too. Also, Outworld from the forums has graciously donated new forums! Check them out, in case twc ever dies.

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