In case you've been safely tucked away from the shocking revelation that family association whipping boy Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas by Rockstar has been targeted by the family associations for whipping yet again
under new revelations that if you modify the code there is an unfinished rudimentary sex minigame INSIDE THE GAME OMG. Naturally various news outlets have been crawling all over each other for the scraps of this story, even with shocking headlines like VIDEO GAME PORN ACCESSIBLE ON YOUR CHILD'S PLAYSTATION 2!
That's right! Also, VIDEO PORN ACCESSIBLE ON YOUR CHILD'S VIDEO PLAYER! "We didn't know!" quoted Steve and Sheryl Dumbass after buying their son six dozen pornographic video tapes, including "Backdoor Sluts 12" and "Don't buy this for your children you idiots this isn't a kids movie". Among the controversy is that not ONLY is the game rated M (for gamers 17 and over) instead of AO (for gamers 18
and over), but the people who rated it are in fact PART OF THE VIDEO GAMING INDUSTRY! Holy conflict of interest! Also, movies from the MPAA are rated by a board funded by, yes, the MPAA. BUT LET'S IGNORE THAT AND CONCENTRATE ON VIDEO GAMES, BECAUSE ONLY CHILDREN EVER PLAY VIDEO GAMES THINK OF THE CHILDREN I AM A CONFUSED PARENT WHAT SHALL I BUY MY CHILD! ALL THESE FOREIGN RATINGS LIKE "Mature" AND "General" I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY MEAN I MUST BUY ALL GAMES FOR MY BABY. My favourite part about that article above is not only that "Your child is one button push away from playing with porn." (after buying an entirely seperate piece of equipment to mod the code on his playstation, then finding and entering in the correct multi-digit key), but that there is so much outrage over the pornographic content in a game "that is already infamous for allowing players to beat prostitutes and kill cops". WOW! I thought it was okay for my child to be beating prostitutes and killing cops, but I will have NO PORNOGRAPHY IN THIS HOUSE YOUNG MAN! So anyway, I could go on for hours and I can't be bothered. For now. Here's your bizarre linkage: Google aptitude test!
Are you apt enough? Are you?
ps: STOP BUYING GTA FOR YOUR BLOODY CHILDREN ALREADY